Connections

What are your connections with people? Are they surface relationships? Do you consider most of your people acquaintances or those you have meaningful relationships with? Do you have different connections with different people?

This has been on my mind a lot today. I love people. I can make friends with anyone. A close friend of mine likes to tease me. He says every time I use a public restroom that I come out with a friend. I can easily strike up conversations with strangers while waiting in line at a coffee shop or at the grocery store. The human connection fascinates me. We ache for personal connection - for people to know us and to vouch for us and our lives. What draws us to each other?

I have my close girlfriends. I think one of the best things about being a girl is the unique friendships girls have with each other. We can laugh so hard at the silliest things or we can look at each other and not even say a word and the tears can just start pouring or we can vent about anything and our girls listen and encourage us. I know my girls will always have my back. I have that unwavering connection with some of the best woman I know. I treasure each of those friendships I’m lucky enough to have.

I have “my people” – those few people I have a very close relationship with. These people have seen me at my best and my worst. They are those who have spent so much time with me over the years that they look at me, look past my exterior and see my heart. They see the happiness, the scars, the stitches and the places in my heart that have yet to be touched. I can share my hopes, dreams and fears with my people. I can say anything – and I mean ANYTHING, and know I won’t be judged. These relationships are so fulfilling, but at the same time the most challenging. These people make me strive to be a better woman, a better friend and reach for things I never thought possible. On the flip side, they are also so rewarding, they give me the opportunity to really “see” another person. What I give to them, they offer back to me. I cherish my people.

Do you ever bump into someone (who could be a stranger or a friend you haven’t seen in years) who completely takes you back? It doesn’t have to because of their looks, but simply that there is just something about that person that has caught your attention. It can be because of a memory, or the way they carry themselves or how they interacted with someone or it can be something you can’t even put your finger on?  You can be in public, lock eyes with a stranger and just feel a pull? This person is someone you are supposed to know – you don’t know in what capacity, but you just know because of that connection? These occurrences are rare and unique, but can be the start of a journey.

I’m not saying any of these connections are better than the other – I think we need ALL of these connections. They help make us whole. I need to laugh and be silly with my girls. I need the brutal honesty of a friend that has known me for over 15 years to give it to me straight when I mess up. I need the connection with a stranger who won’t judge me for sharing that I love Glee, as we gush over a magazine rack at a store. I need the simple smile I share with another runner as we pass on a trail. We all want and need the different aspects of the human connection.

I have so many more thoughts on this, but I’ll end with a quote that “my person” shared with me a few weeks ago….

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, in spite of ourselves." - Victor Hugo

In real life...

I’ve been struggling with what to write about next. I have a half dozen little blog posts started, but seem to draw a blank after the first few sentences. For those of you who write, I’m sure you are very familiar with this stumbling block. This summer has been a whirlwind of events and my mind is busy these days with processing, letting go, and learning. Instead of trying to figure out why I can’t press forward with my writing, I decided to take a break. Last Friday, I joined Gypsy Mama  for 5 minutes of writing on a topic she chose – free of thought and edits – simply, just words joining together.

 Friday’s topic: In real life….

GO!

In real life, people don’t tell me what they want me to hear. They are honest about who they are and what their intentions are. They see I wear my heart on my sleeve and do the same in return. They understand I prefer the painful truth over a sugar-coated tale.  

In real life, I’m filled with flaws that you may not see if you don’t know me very well.

Let me share a few very REAL things about me….

·         I strive to be a perfectionist. I like order and routine. I do this well in some aspects of my life (like work, being on time, how I put myself together when I’m outside the house, etc.), but in other areas I fail miserably despite my determination. On any given day, if you walk into my house, it looks lived in. Allie’s leash will be on the mat by the front door because I dropped it there in a rush to start getting ready for work after our morning walk. There will most likely be unfolded clean laundry in the laundry basket as I don’t like folding and putting clothes away. I have this tendency to leave cabinet doors and drawers open after I’ve taken what I need from them. At anytime, you can walk in the kitchen and see a door or two open.  These are all silly little things, really, but definitely things that don’t make me a true perfectionist.

·         I have simple plans. Plans for the weekend. Plans for what I’m doing at night after work. Plans for my next big vacation. I love spontaneity, but plans let me know I’ve taken the time to consider who I’m spending my time with and what I’m doing. Plans can be simple, like lying around with someone and watching a movie or going to Trader Joe’s. It’s very rare when I don’t have a plan. I also break plans – all the time. Big time flaw. Some of my nearest and dearest will vouch for this.

·         I worry and stress – A LOT. I worry when I don’t even think I’m worrying.  I trust God, but clearly I am still working on this because I worry and stress like crazy!  

·         I get side-tracked easily. I can be on a run or a walk, come across a great place to sit and look out at the river. So I'll stop, sit and take it in. I can have plans to spend the day at home (folding laundry), but will ditch that in an instant to spend the day with a friend or do something I enjoy. If I’m reading a book at a coffee shop, I’ll only get through one or two pages because I’m distracted by watching people or day dreaming.

In real life, God covers all my imperfections with His beauty, love and grace.

STOP!